It's the bane of all typists. 

Clickity-clackity-clickity...clunk! 

Your typebars are jammed. Stuck. Wedged. And you have to stop typing to wriggle them back, loosen them up, and drop them back into the basket before you can continue. Sometimes, you say: "Oh I'll hit the key less intensely next time, and it won't happen". But it does. Again. And again. And again. And sometimes it's two, three, four or five different keys. Sometimes it's the whole damn typewriter. And you're sick and tired of the constant interruptions. 

Fear not, fellow typists. Cleaning your typewriter so that the typebars NEVER jam again, is as easy as a trip to the local supermarket. Here's what you do... 

You Will Need: 

One typewriter, with jamming keys. 

One large bottle of methylated spirits (U.S.: "Denatured Alcohol"). 

One cup or bowl. Small in size. (One of those Chinese rice-bowls will do). 

One small, soft-bristled paintbrush. 

One large roll of paper-towels. 

Bright light. (The following operation is best undertaken during the hours of daylight). 

Patience. 

Two or three sheets of paper. 

A steady work-surface. 

Patience. 

A comfortable chair (You'll be sitting there for a while). 

Patience. 

Sewing-machine oil (or similar). 

Patience. 

You Will Do: 

The following... 

Take the ribbon out of your typewriter. Make damn sure you know how to put it back IN, later! If necessary, take a photograph BEFORE taking the ribbon out. 

Rip off 3-4 sheets of paper-towels. Fold them along the perforations, until you have a nice, thick square of paper. Shove this underneath your typewriter. 

Does your typewriter have a base or bottom plate, like a Royal No. 10? Remove that, first. THEN put the paper-towels underneath. 

Decant the meths/alcohol into the little bowl. KEEP THE BOTTLE NEARBY (you'll need it!). 

Roll the 2-3 sheets of paper into your typewriter. 

Now comes the tedious bit... 

Dip your soft brush into the bowl of spirits. Then constantly brush, sweep and scrub the alcohol-soaked brush through the gaps in the typebasket, where the typebars vanish into the machine. Imagine that you're brushing teeth.

As you do this, pause every now and then, and jiggle the keys up and down. Test every single key. ALL of them. 

Repeat the dipping and brushing. And test the keys again. And repeat. Then test. Then repeat. And test. And repeat it again. And test. Again. 

I told you this was tedious. It took me 48 hours, and all I had was a portable Underwood. 

What you're doing is forcing the alcohol THROUGH the typing mechanism. Brushing, and jiggling the keys shakes loose all the dust and gunk and lint inside the typing mechanism. The alcohol loosens it up, and then it just drips out the bottom of your typewriter, onto the paper-towels underneath. 

Do this often enough, and eventually, all the gunk will be washed out of your machine. 

Every now and then, lift up the typewriter, and change (or re-orientate, as necessary), the paper-towels under your machine. When you do this, inspect the towels. You'll notice that they're FULL of black crud. This is all the dust and gunk and rubbish that's jamming up your keys. It'll look like fireplace soot. Really nasty crap. Running the alcohol through your machine flushes out this gunk, and frees up the keys, stopping them from jamming in the future. 

Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. As Churchill said: KBO. Keep Buggering On. Don't give up. 

This is also why BRIGHT LIGHT is important. Don't do this at night. You might think the machine is clean. The paper might look clear and white. But hold it up to sunlight, and you'll notice that it's still grey. So keep cleaning. Artificial light can be deceptive. 

ONCE you're done, and your typewriter reeks like a speakeasy at Happy Hour, you can give it a wipe-down and a thorough typing-test to see that everything is working properly. 

You'll have succeeded if you can type at speed, for several lines, without a SINGLE key jamming whatesoever (unless you hit two keys at once, of course). If this doesn't happen, then there's one of two problems: 

1. It ain't clean. Keep on scrubbin'. 

2. The hammers are bent. Unlikely, but it can happen. This can be fixed, but should be done so with a CAREFUL hand. 

Once the typewriter has been cleaned and is back to functioning order, you MAY develop squeaks in the keys. Identify the squeaking keys by jiggling them up and down, and lubricate SPARINGLY, with a DROP of sewing-machine oil. No more than what you can fit on a toothpick, or a Q-tip/cotton-bud. 

Job done. Happy typing!