Typewriter Talk / OOOH!! That's Corny! Moans, Groans, and other Rotten Jokes

**Posted by TypewriterKing** 05-10-2016 20:39:55

I once heard of a man who, when he jumped out of a plane, forgot to take his parachute. That's okay, for he was wearing his light fall suit.

**Posted by TypewriterKing** 05-10-2016 20:44:35

A man was walking down the sidewalk in the city the other day when he spotted a man typing real slow on his portable typewriter. What was even more peculiar was the man was even using the touch-type system, but was still going very slow. Puzzled, he asked the typist: "Why are you typing so slowly?" To which the man replied "I'm writing a letter to my brother. He doesn't read very fast."

**Posted by TypewriterKing** 05-10-2016 20:47:46

A story of the perfect squelch: A lady in upstate New York was driving around and around in a parking lot to find a spot to park her car. Finding one, she made a bee line for it, only to find that a cowboy hat wearing young man in a pickup truck get to the spot before her. "I thought you Texans were s'posed to be polite!" said she. His reply: "Yes ma'am. And if you're ever down my way in Texas, you can be my guest and take the first spot."

**Posted by TypewriterKing** 05-10-2016 20:50:10

A young man wanting to try out for the college football team went to the head coach to express his intentions. To which the coach asked: "Son, we might could use ya. Do you think you can pass this ball?" To which our witless hero replied, "Yes sir, if I can swaller it."

**Posted by TypewriterKing** 05-10-2016 20:52:44

A man invited a friend out to his favorite restaurant, where he suggested to his friend to try out their fish. He said the fish was great for enhancing one's intelligence level. The friend looked at the menu, finding the delicacy in question would cost $45.00 a plate. He then told his friend that it seemed kind of expensive for a meal. The man then said: "See, it's working already."

**Posted by TypewriterKing** 05-10-2016 20:55:02

A young newlywed gent was in an upstairs room with his new blushing bride one night. He spent most of the night, just staring dreamy-eyed out the window. "Why don't you come to bed now, dear," his wife said, to which he replied, "My dad told me this was going to be the greatest night of my life. I'm going to stay right here because I don't want to miss a minute of it!"

**Posted by TypewriterKing** 05-10-2016 20:57:29

A young college baseball player, after complaints about his feet offending the other players' noses, was told by his coach to put on a fresh pair of socks everyday. By Thursday, the poor guy couldn't get his shoes on.

**Posted by TypewriterKing** 05-10-2016 21:04:02

A man was running back to the outhouses on the fairgrounds one afternoon. Another man observed the fast stride, and said, "Man, when ya gotta go, ya gotta go!" The other man said, "Oh, it's not that. I just realized that I left my coat back there, but it fell into the tank below the seat." "You don't want that coat now, man. It's no good anymore!" said the observer. "Oh, I'm not going after the coat," said the man, "I'm just going back to get the tunafish sandwich I put in the left pocket."

**Posted by Fleetwing** 07-10-2016 11:36:35

Hoo boy! Yes, some groaners in here. But thanks for passing these along. The second one was particularly good.

**Posted by TypewriterKing** 08-10-2016 16:17:02

Got another one: Q: What did the sow say to the other sow? A: Have you heard from your boarfriend lately? Q: What did the other sow say? A: Yes, I got a litter from him last week.